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About Digital Art / Artist JoshuaMale/Australia Group :iconglobal-design: Global-Design
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Deviant for 8 Years
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LazyJulian Frac by chileboi LazyJulian Frac :iconchileboi:chileboi 1 0
My struggle within Part 2
So I continue this masquerade
Wearing this mask everyday
Trying to fool people that I'm ok
Especially when I worst
How is it I can feel like this?
Just because of one bloody chemical reaction?
It feels like we don't talk that much anymore
Maybe because I made things awkward for you that we're silent
Or maybe its just all going to my head
I know you just wanna be friends
And that I wanna be more
But if its the only way you'll stay in my life, so be it
I'd rather be friends and I fight this pain
Than if I never saw your face again
So please just tell me!
I try to let you be
To stop chasing your heart
But I'm still conflicted inside
I keep on convincing myself that this is an illusion
Yet somehow I'm convinced again that this is real
My mind and my friends tell me its not real, so why won't my heart just listen?
So each night I rassle with my thoughts
This war inside me is killing me slowly
Does anyone really understand what I'm going through?
That you won't tell me if you feel anythin
:iconchileboi:chileboi 3 6
My struggle within
At times I feel so sick, just like puking til my stomach collapses
At times i just wanna cry, open up the flood gates and release the waterfall
But something inside me always seems to hold me back
How can I help how I'm feeling?
How can I help what's going inside of me?
Its my struggle within
Sometimes I just wanna end it all
Finish this pain once and for all
But then I realize how I would never, ever see her again
So the struggle resumes
Should I tell you how I really feel?
The thought passes my mind every few minutes
But in fear of your reaction I stay silent
In fear of rejection I bite my tongue
Why am I such a coward?
So in silence I admire you from afar
How your eyes shine brighter then the stars
How your smile lights up the entire room
Your contagious laugh, how it makes everything better
Oh why must you be so oblivious to the way I feel about you?
My heart at times feels like a volcano ready to erupt
An untimed bomb ready to blow at any second
So to help me through, I write h
:iconchileboi:chileboi 3 12
Curly Tile by chileboi Curly Tile :iconchileboi:chileboi 4 9 Star Flake by chileboi Star Flake :iconchileboi:chileboi 9 10 The Society by chileboi The Society :iconchileboi:chileboi 1 9 Starjump by chileboi Starjump :iconchileboi:chileboi 5 3 Chile's first fractal by chileboi Chile's first fractal :iconchileboi:chileboi 1 0 Appleman by chileboi Appleman :iconchileboi:chileboi 3 9 Christmas Time by chileboi Christmas Time :iconchileboi:chileboi 4 16 Secret Gardens by chileboi Secret Gardens :iconchileboi:chileboi 4 12 Angel in Fire by chileboi Angel in Fire :iconchileboi:chileboi 12 11 Memory In The Rocks by chileboi Memory In The Rocks :iconchileboi:chileboi 4 5 Guitar by chileboi Guitar :iconchileboi:chileboi 2 4 Toy Zebra 2 by chileboi Toy Zebra 2 :iconchileboi:chileboi 1 0 Toy Zebra 1 by chileboi Toy Zebra 1 :iconchileboi:chileboi 0 0


Ellis in Wonderland by MichaelGenares Ellis in Wonderland :iconmichaelgenares:MichaelGenares 5 9 Pegasus by MichaelGenares Pegasus :iconmichaelgenares:MichaelGenares 14 6 Retro pinup by CindysArt Retro pinup :iconcindysart:CindysArt 486 185 The Original X-Men Remix by TheUnknownBeing The Original X-Men Remix :icontheunknownbeing:TheUnknownBeing 110 44 The Big Tibbu-juju-kek by wilmermurillo The Big Tibbu-juju-kek :iconwilmermurillo:wilmermurillo 23 4 gust by bailey--elizabeth gust :iconbailey--elizabeth:bailey--elizabeth 1,258 66 owl by stormsheperd126 owl :iconstormsheperd126:stormsheperd126 1,177 107 Bell Flower by dragonsyth1 Bell Flower :icondragonsyth1:dragonsyth1 18 5 bill_paris_2006_colored by lily-york bill_paris_2006_colored :iconlily-york:lily-york 33 13 Kiddin knight by Paperheadman Kiddin knight :iconpaperheadman:Paperheadman 8 10 Okami - refusing to fall by Grypwolf Okami - refusing to fall :icongrypwolf:Grypwolf 14,530 1,398 light time.. by featbomber light time.. :iconfeatbomber:featbomber 3 0 Deep mystery by CindysArt Deep mystery :iconcindysart:CindysArt 432 139 the whisper by hybrid4u the whisper :iconhybrid4u:hybrid4u 891 69 Cubone by Hitotsumami Cubone :iconhitotsumami:Hitotsumami 88 24



Artist | Digital Art
Yea.. I can be weird at times but that's just me. Don't like it, I don't care. Just relax

Current Residence: Sydney, Australia
Favourite genre of music: most types
Favourite style of art: photomanips and fractal art
Operating System: pc
MP3 player of choice: ipod
Well its been a busy no-internet few weeks for me. Holidays are finishing, so is my gfx break. Hoping to make many more better graphics this year. Need to pwn all my classmates in my digital media class hehe. Now that ive started watching more people and joining groups and such its hard for me to reply to things so sorry if i don't. I don't hate you or ignore you, im just on a clicking frenzy. Coming back to sydney in a couple of days so expect some more graphics from me soon.

Anyways this year I plan to become much better at graphics and cooking! and hopefully if my parents love my enough they can give me an slr camera for my birthday hehe. Well peace out everyone and don't get caught. ;)
  • Listening to: internet cafe radio
  • Drinking: bottle of water


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MichaelGenares Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
heuheuheuheuheuheu =w=
NYsFienst Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Long time no see hope everything is going well :D, need a bit of guidance :o need to find a PSD i can use for SOTW like a winner badge :o something like this

MichaelGenares Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
JOSHUA!!! do something :D
heavenriver Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you very much for the watch!
chileboi Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2010   Digital Artist
your welcome!
VirulentusBM Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2010  Student Digital Artist
Thx for the favorite add :D
chileboi Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2010   Digital Artist
no problem!
lily-york Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you for the fav, dear :love::heart:
chileboi Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2010   Digital Artist
your welcome!
laurengary Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2010
Thank you :star:* ):heart:
..* ) .*
(. (.* `:heart:Cherries Jubilee
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